I am a very kind and relatively easy going person, but I have a few annoyances with some social networking sites.
I tend to get several IM invites or web cam invites. I am not hesitant to chat most of the time because, though I tend to be slightly reclusive, I am quite social a good portion of the time. I love making new friends, discussing ideas, and sharing common interests. Yes, I am single and I would like to have a significant other, BUT PLEASE!, AFTER KNOWING ME FOR 58 SECONDS I AM NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU MY BREASTS AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR PENIS!
I instantly become suspicious if someone has a web cam photo of themselves without a shirt with the backdrop of a bedroom. (Maybe I am a glutton for punishment for even trying to be cordial, but I try to get 98% of the world the benefit of the doubt.)
Perhaps they see that I am overweight, maybe thinking that I do have lower self esteem, or because I am nice individual who generally likes people, or very approachable, slightly darker in personality than the average individual that must apparently read easy, or fill in the blanks. Who knows?
The interesting thing is that these are not even fetish sites or other various 'nefarious' *wink* sites.
Another annoyance is that certain individuals attempt to place me in a stereotype of women who like stereotypically ultra masculine, muscular guys. (I do believe most of the pictures, though, are not accurate to the person's actual appearance on the profiles, but if you have to lie about your appearance there are some deeper issues there that you should seriously have to analyze.) This is NOT me. My gender and sexual orientation are NOT the conservative, black and white, one way or the other stereotypical model. I love androgyny and gender-bending men. I do definitely look on the inside first (judging by your ability to have a conversation and interests) actually, but do not think you are going to attract me by saying that you can bench press 500 lbs, have the ability to smash an aluminum can on your forehead, lay in tanning beds, have a big penis, or blah, blah, blah. Frankly, that's good for you, but I am so uninterested in that! I know this is harsh, but I have to be true to myself and honest upfront.
Enough with the bullshit pretenses and vanity crap already! It is incredibly annoying.
Yes, I love the dark aesthetic, PVC, thigh high boots, fish nets, navel piercings, electrical tape, and a nice little black dress on an attractive guy, but who doesn't right? *grin* It doesn't make me easy that I have an inclination towards these particular outward attractors. It also does not mean that it is a requirement, either. Attraction is more than appearance. It definitely helps, but be realistic. Eventually, outward "beauty" fades and I am not looking for perfection. I also am not looking for a friend with benefits, cyber sex, phone sex, causal sex, and etc.
I am certainly not a prude, obviously. So, do not accuse of being one just because I have developed boundaries and self respect and love.
One of most important things is that it is important to please by yourself while respecting yourself, and respecting me!
Another thing, please, at least, skim my bio before you attempt to proposition me! If you are a right wing, non vegan, non animal loving, conservative with pseudo religious tendencies, yes, I will talk to you and perhaps befriend you (I am open-minded to those I encounter initially and I 97% of the time, still will be) but expect nothing more. Treat me with respect and you will receive it likewise.
Another important thing to remember is in attracting someone is the common interests, causes, and beliefs that you share!
You have to be able to have good conversations that are mentally stimulating and interesting. Appearances are important to a degree, but you have to actually like the person at a core level that you are trying to pursue. Like I said, outward "beauty" fades; concentrate on the inward beauty and self development!
So, if you are looking for someone and attempting to base a relationship on sex, it will most likely fail.
Love yourself more than that!
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